Faded words and crumpled pages
by andieb13
Summary: When 18 years old Elena Gilbert wakes up to find that her boyfriend Damon Salvatore has left her without saying goodbye, she feels like her life is destroyed. She lives never knowing why he left and is astonished when he shows up to her door 19 years later. Why did he left? And why is he back? AU/AH
1. Chapter 1 : Missing you

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**hi everyone! so, this is my first story and this idea came to me just like that and I couldn't shake it off my mind so I guess I just had to write it. I don' t have a Beta yet, so you may find some mistakes (keep in mind thta English is not my first language please) but if anyone feels like doing the job... Tell me! Well, I hope you enjoy this, more chapters to come! **

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Elena Gilbert had just woken up. It was still early and the sun had come up not so long ago. Waking up early was a habit she had picked up a long time ago and that she had dropped a few years after. But these days, she just couldn't seem to stay asleep in the morning. Yet, she was exhausted. She felt like she was 60, all old and tired… Her body didn't seem to want to respond the way it should do at only 36 years old. Damn, she was only at the beginning of her life and she already felt like she was about to die. She had been feeling this way for almost 19 years… She yawned as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Elena sat at the kitchen table and took a sip of her coffee. She lifted her feet from the cold tiles of the floor and tucked them under her. Looking outside by the big window in front of her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She just loved these moments, before the world would wake up and everything would start to move. These moments when she felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders but yet felt the most serene. The silence, the calm… Only her. It felt good.

"Meow."

Well, not only her. Benjy, her Bengal cat would always know the exact time when she would open her eyes and he would wait for her to get out of her room. He would always follow her to the kitchen and keep her company until she went to prepare herself for work. At almost 20 years old, he was the oldest cat Elena had ever known. She's had him for such a long time… Looking down at him, she smiled sadly. Benjy made her think about _him_. The chubby cat was almost the only thing she hadn't thrown away after _he_ had left. She had wanted to get rid of everything that reminded her of _him_, but just couldn't abandon Benjy.

For a second, Elena felt tears fill up her eyes. She blinked rapidly and fought back the tears. She wouldn't cry over him. Not again. She had cried every tear of her frail body, for weeks. Hell, she had cried for months. For months she had locked herself in her bedroom, fixing the ceiling all day, only getting out to eat and sometimes shower. For months she felt like her life wasn't worth it without him. For months, she waited for death to come and get her, because being dead couldn't be worst than living if he wasn't there to be living with. Eventually, she stopped crying. She had to. She couldn't let her life pass her by because of some guy. She had stopped crying 19 years ago. She would never cry over him again. Or at least that's what she was repeating every morning to try and convince herself that she was over him. Because she was. She was, right?

"Meow?"

Benjy cocked his head to the side like he always did and stared at her with his big dark eyes. Damn, this cat just always seemed to know when she felt sad! Elena put down her cup on the table and clapped her hands on her thighs. As if he had been waiting for the signal, Benjy jumped on her lap and immediately started to purr. Elena smiled at the still energetic cat and scratched him under his chin. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost did not hear the soft knocking on the door. Surprised, she checked the clock on the wall besides her and frowned when she saw the time. 7.14. Who could be knocking at her door at 7.14 in the morning, on a Tuesday?

Elena gently pushed Benjy from her lap and made her way to the front door. The cat followed her and started to hiss as she got closer to the door. Amused, Elena grinned and said:

"Easy, Benjy, it's only a visitor. It's not like you've never seen anyone before. And it's probably just the mailman."

Elena unlocked the door and turned the knob. She couldn't contain the gasp that escaped her when her eyes fell on her "visitor". Her heart ached at the sight in front of her. After all these years, when she loved him, hated him, when she cried and cursed him, when she dreamed that he would show up on her doorstep, he was finally here. Her mind filled with flashes of images of him, all those memories she had kept hidden in a corner of her head for all those years were flowing freely, hitting her like a wave. Like a tsunami. Shaking her head, her voice quivered as one soft and almost inaudible word escaped her trembling lips.

"Damon…"


	2. Chapter 2 : Home

**AUTHOR'S NOTE : yeah, I'm back with the second chapter! ok, first, I wanted to update sooner, I swear. but you guys have no idea how this chapter has been a pain in my ass. not because it was hard to write, that actually was the easy part. no, really, my laptop decided to erase Microsoft Office so I lost half my chapter when Word suddenly disappered. I had to write it back, but then it wasn't what I had first and I didn't feel like it was as good. then, somehow, I could find my document again and arrange something to fit the two parts of the same chapter in there... so, it was crappy enough for me, I can't even work on my school projects because my laptop sucks! fortunatly, I have a computer so I could write this and deliver it to you tonight. no more sucky-laptop talk, here's the second chapter! enjoy and review! **

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"Damon…"

Elena felt the air leave her lungs. She tried to breathe but just couldn't. Raising her hand to her throat, she took a step back, leaving Damon on the door step. Giving her a questioning look, Damon opened his mouth to make a joke about how he could still make her breathless, but then he saw that she really couldn't breathe when she bent down and started to make choking noises.

Without hesitation, he stepped in the house and in a second he was kneeling in front of her, one hand on her knee and one on her shoulder.

"Breathe, Elena, breathe" he asked, searching for her eyes through the curtain of long brown hair that hid her face. "Take deep breaths, slowly, come on!"

Elena looked up and stared back into his worried eyes. Oh, those eyes… She could still remember a time when she would have given everything just to see them looking back, when she would have done anything to light that spark she loved so much… When she would have killed for his blue eyes. Now those same eyes were staring right into her soul, like they used to but the spark that used to be there was missing. As her mind started to get foggy from the lack of oxygen and her head getting heavier and heavier, Elena couldn't help but think about how absurd it was to end this all the same way it had started…

_Elena was walking out of the school when she heard the familiar music of her ringtone. She sighed loudly as she transferred her books in one hand while the other tried to reach into her purse to find the ringing device. Trying not to make it fall from her shoulder, she grabbed her purse and opened it wider to see if she could spot her phone inside. Feeling the strap sliding slowly, Elena leaned a little on the side to make her shoulder go high so the bag wouldn't fall to the ground. Her heavy backpack added to her 3 inch heels instantly made her lose her balance but she miraculously kept herself on her feet. Her things didn't get that luck. The books in her hand crashed to the ground and her purse slid from her shoulder, joining her other belongings on the concrete. She groaned and knelt to pick up her things, while her phone kept ringing. Elena found it inside her purse and cursed when she saw the time._

_"Oh, shit!"_

_She was almost late for work! Damn Caroline who had made her stay after school! She knew she should have said no. Caroline may be her best friend, but sometimes she really felt like she was going to strangle her. She just couldn't understand that she needed to work to help her family. Her dad had lost his job a few months before and had then begun to drink. It was usual that she would find him passed out on the couch when she would come home from school, his clothes reeking of alcohol. Her mom was rushing to keep the family afloat, but working as a sales clerk in a small clothing boutique wasn't enough. A couple of months ago, Elena had taken a job as a waitress to the Grill, Mystic Falls' favorite and only restaurant/bar. The salary wasn't enormous, but it wasn't bad either. She made great tips and her boss understood her situation and was flexible with her work schedule. Now, she had to juggle between work and school and her family. She even had to take care of everything surrounding her 15 years old brother, Jeremy, because her parents were either working or too drunk to do it._

_Trying to gather her stuff, Elena touched the answer button and tucked her phone between her ear and her shoulder._

_"Hello?"_

_Finally getting everything back in her hands, she got up and started walking as fast as she could in the Grill's direction._

_"Miss Gilbert?" asked a familiar female voice._

_"Yes, it's me." Elena answered, rolling her eyes. The woman was calling on her phone, the one registered to her name. Who else could be answering?_

_"It's Sheriff Forbes, Elena. I'm calling from the hospital. Can you meet me here?"_

_Elena stopped dead in her tracks. The hospital? Why was Sheriff Forbes calling her? Was Caroline injured? No, she had just left her; she was still at school… Feeling the panic raising in her, Elena inquired in a worried voice:_

_"Sheriff, what happened? Who is in the hospital? What's wrong?"_

_She heard the Sheriff take in a deep breath before answering._

_"Elena, dear, there was an accident. Your parents… Their car ran off the road and hit a tree. They… they died on the impact. I'm sorry."_

_Damon Salvatore was walking, his hands in his jeans pockets. Wandering the streets, he was making his way around the town, reminiscent of the time he had lived here. He was born and had grown up in Mystic Falls, but his father's hate for him and his own hate for small towns had pushed him to leave the day of his 18 birthday. He left everything behind, only taking with him a duffel bag with some clothes, a few books and other things that meant something for him, like his mother's wedding band. Eliza Salvatore had died when he was 10 and his little brother Stefan was 3. Giuseppe had only gotten worse since then. He turned to alcohol to drown his sorrows and would sometimes hit Damon when he was drunk. Only Damon though. He would never touch Stefan._

_Stefan was the golden boy. He was everything his father would have wanted him to be. But Damon just wasn't that person and no one, not even his father, especially not his father would change the way he was. He had moved to New York City and had never looked back. He felt bad for Stefan but supporting his father was too much of a price to pay to be with his little brother._

_Five years later and there he was. Back in the town he had sworn he would never go back to. But things were different now. Giuseppe had passed away two weeks ago and had left Stefan without someone to take care of him. At 23 and being the eldest brother, Damon had inherited all of his father's fortune as the rich man never took the time to write his testament. He missed Stefan so when the social services had called him to ask him if he would come back to Mystic Falls to be his legal guardian, he didn't hesitate a second. He had gotten an arrangement with his boss-he was working as a lawyer in New York-, had packed the same duffel bag he had taken with him when he had left and had jumped on the first plane back to Virginia. _

_He was currently walking around, seeing that nothing had really changed in the past five years. He passed by Mystic High and smirk at the memory of his high school years. Yup, that was something he could never forget! Distracted, he was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard the sound of something crashing on the ground. Damon looked around and saw a dark haired girl standing in the middle of the sidewalk, a couple of books splattered on the ground at her feet. She was staring at something before her, holding a phone to her ear. Her eyes seemed empty. Damon continued to stare at her, judging that she couldn't be more than 19. Damn, maybe she was a little young for him… Not that it had stopped him before, when he was in New York, but in his home town… Something felt wrong. Fuck his conscience! That girl was just so beautiful! He could already picture her lying in his bed, her hair spread out on the pillow as she would moan his name and beg for more… He shook his head and saw her dropping her phone to the ground. Frowning, he took a step in her direction. Something wasn't right with her. Unless people had suddenly started to randomly drop their things to the ground while he was in New York, this girl before him was in trouble or something. _

_Elena felt rather than saw her phone sliding from her hand and hit the ground, shattering in pieces. Tears started to fall from her eyes and she jumped a little when she tasted the salty liquid on her lips. She didn't even know tears had come up to her eyes. All she could feel right now was the shock. The emptiness. Then came the panic. Her whole body started to shake and soft sobs tried to escape her trembling lips but the air had been taken out of her lungs. She couldn't breathe. Soon she felt too weak to even stand. Elena's knees gave in as she was crying soundlessly, her pain so strong she never thought someone could survive hurting that much. Fallowing the same path as her books and phone previously, she dropped to the ground. But she never felt the shock that usually comes with falling. Instead, Elena felt two strong arms catching her and holding her tightly. _

_Damon started running the moment he saw the tears coming out of her eyes. Her knees were shaking badly, he knew she was seconds away of falling and hitting the hard concrete. As predicted, the girl let herself drop down but he was only a couple of steps of her and he could catch her before she hit her head. She was shaking and crying, but he couldn't see her breathe. Her full lips were starting to turn blue. She was so panicked that her lungs wouldn't function. He wondered what put her through such pain, but pushed that thought away for later. He needed to make her breathe more than to satisfy his curiosity. Taking her face between his hands, Damon searched her eyes and when he locked his gaze to hers, he instructed her to take deep breaths._

_"Relax. I'm here. I'm taking care of you. Just breathe. Deep breaths. Like me."_

_Damon took a deep and slow breath, his gaze never leaving hers. He saw her trying to copy his gesture and smiled._

_"That's it. Good, now try another one. Keep trying, for me, please. Don't you die on me."_

_Elena saw the eyes poking into hers. Her head foggy, she thought how ironic it was to die from a lack of oxygen while looking into eyes as blue as the ocean. Maybe they would say she had drowned… She let out a small laugh that seemed to kick her breathing back in. She felt a strong burn to her lungs as she gasped to fill them with the much needed air. _

_Damon sighed when she started to breathe again. Slowly, he could see the blue on her lips fade away, like death was withdrawing its mortal wave from her. As her breaths became even and deep, he saw her looking up and locking her eyes to his. Smiling, he tucked a long strand of brown hair behind her ear and left his hand on her cheek, caressing it gently. The girl smiled back and let out a small thank you, almost inaudible. _

_"Can I ask you what put you into this state?"enquired calmly Damon, still holding the pretty girl to his chest._

_Elena's face fell as the memories of the Sheriff's call came back to her and tears begun to form again in her eyes._

_"Hey, hey, easy there. I didn't mean to make you cry again. I' m sorry…"_

_"It's alright, it's just… I just learned that my parents were in an accident."_

_"Shit, are they alright?"worried Damon._

_Elena felt a single tear run down her cheek as she closed her eyes. She heard the man curse again and felt his arm tighten around her. He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered that he was sorry. Elena smiled sadly and opened her eyes to find him staring at her, a pained look on his face. 'He understands' realized the brown haired girl. Feeling an inexplicable pull towards him, she placed her hand on his and said:_

_"I'm Elena."_

_Elena. 'What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl' Damon thought. He smiled at her and opened his mouth to respond to her but was cut by someone yelling his name._

_"Damon, Damon!"_

_Damon lifted his head and saw Stefan running to him, a bright smile covering half his face. Helping Elena back on her feet, he rose from the ground and took a step in his direction. When Stefan was within his reach, Damon grabbed him and pulled him into a tight but still manly hug. Yeah, he missed his brother but he still wanted to look like a man in front of Elena. Didn't want the girl to think he was an emotional wimp. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat and Stefan let him go. He looked behind Damon's shoulder and smiled at Elena. Turning to face Damon again, he declared:_

_"Ah, brother, so glad you're back in town! I see you have already met Elena, my beautiful girlfriend"_

_Both Elena and Damon stared at Stefan wide eyes._

_"Your brother?"_

_"Your girlfriend?"_

Elena lifted her head and looked at the man in front of her. There were so many memories attached to his image. For a second, she felt drawn to his eyes like a magnet. Damn him and his magnificent blue eyes! She had always felt weak while looking him into the eyes. It was comforting but yet alarming to find that it still had the same effect on her 19 years later. His worried stare on her face made her snap out of her thoughts and back to reality, where she was currently suffocating. Closing her eyes, she did as Damon instructed and took a long deep breath. She continued taking slow breaths, making hoarse sounds each time air would come in and fill her lungs. After a few moments, she realized that Damon was knelt before her with his hands on her. Elena fought back a shudder of disgust and gently but firmly pushed his hands away. She was still in her pajamas, which were only short shorts and a tank top. The skin on skin contact was too much. There had been a time when she had craved this contact every second of her life, but now it just felt inappropriate. As hard as it was to admit, it felt foreign. He who used to be her comfort, her safety, her home, was now feeling as unfamiliar as a stranger.

Elena could feel that her body still wanted to react to his touch, but her brain was clearly winning this fight. Her body may not remember all the pain he put her through, but her brain did, and he wouldn't let her feel so comfortable near him so soon. His touch felt dirty, the sound of his breath was annoying. He was too close. Just knowing that he was back in town put him in a too close position. She didn't want him here. She didn't want him in her life anymore. There was a time when she would have given anything just to see him show up like this on her doorstep but now all she wanted was for him to be gone and for good. She wouldn't, she couldn't let him back in. Things were different now. It wasn't just her and her stupid teenager feelings. She had grown in all these years where he left her.

Damon smiled softly to Elena. She hadn't changed. After all those years, she hadn't changed at all. She was as beautiful as she was the day he left but now she had grown. She was a woman now. And it suited her so well. Yeah, she was beautiful.

He got up and took a step towards her, still smiling. His face fell as he saw her take a step back, a flash of emotions crossing her eyes. He could recognize hurt, sadness, fear and pain. There was so much pain in her eyes… His heart sunk at the thought that he was the one that had caused this pain. If he had known it would have hurt her so badly…

Elena continued to take multiple steps back in the living room until her calves hit the couch. Unsure how long she would be able to stand after so much emotion, she sat and stared helplessly at Damon. Benjy hissed at Damon again and jumped on the couch next to her, sensing her distress. Fighting hard to keep her tears from falling and her voice from breaking, Elena looked him dead in the eye and asked:

"Why are you here?"

Damon stepped forward but was stopped when she raised her hand, signaling him he was not allowed to come further. Tilting his head to the side, his eyebrows forming a frown, he delivered an answer that shocked Elena to the point where she was left open-mouthed and unable to move or speak.

"I came back for you."


	3. Chapter 3 : Connected

**Hi everyone! So this is another chapter, it's a longer one, it's like 4500 words! Just so you don't get confused, this chapter takes place in the past. The whole chapter does and so will the next few ones. I know I did the past in italics in the last chapter but since this whole thing is in the past, it would have killed my eyes (and probably yours too) to do it full in italics. I'll tell you when we'll get back to the present. Anyway, in this chapter and the following ones, you'll be able to see the start of their relationship and how the were together. Enough author's talk, enjoy this! **

**PS. I'm still looking for a Beta, if anyone is interested... PM me.**

**PS2. Is it just me or this week's episode was... yeah, you know what I mean. Pregnant Hayley, really?**

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It was near 10pm when Elena walked through the door of her cozy home. Looking around, she sighed as she crashed on the couch in the living room, letting herself slide until she was lying on it instead of sitting, soon followed by Jeremy. It didn't seem so cozy anymore; the comfort of a nice and warm home seemed gone now. Without her parents… What were they going to do?

They were just back from the hospital, where she had to meet the doctors who were already with Jeremy and they had talked to her and her brother for what seemed like hours. When she had entered the waiting room they had put Jeremy in, she had seen her brother's face and it had broken her facade. She couldn't do it. How was she supposed to take care of herself and of her 15 years old brother alone? Even if she was already doing it on a daily basis, their parents were still there to look up after them. She had never felt this alone. She had never felt this empty.

Then, after all the doctors had spoken to them in what felt like a foreign language, the Sheriff had come in and told Elena and Jeremy that she had already contacted Jenna, their mother's sister and that she would be the one to become their legal guardian until Elena was 18 or she was ready to take in the responsibility of raising a teenager. Damn, she was still a teenager herself, how was she supposed to ever be ready to raise her brother? To raise anyone at all?

The front door shut in a soft sound and Elena turned her head to see her boyfriend Stefan coming in. He had followed her to the hospital after he had learned why she was crying in his brother's arms and hadn't left her since. Elena was still confused about that part. What was it with this guy, Damon, that had her so weak? She didn't even know him before this afternoon and yet she had opened up to him like she never even had to Stefan or even Caroline! They had never seen her so weak and yet they had always been in her life. She'd known them since kindergarten and they had always been the two persons she had felt the closer in this world.

Elena smiled at that memory. Stefan would always pull her ponytail and, one day, little Caroline, who was already terrible at that age, had pushed him on the ground when he had yet again pulled her hair. Since that day, the two girls had been best friends. Eventually, Stefan had joined them after apologizing to Elena. She could still recall how he had come to her, dragging his feet, telling her that he had just wanted to be her friend but never knew how to get her to play with him. Back then, Elena already had that big heart she was always known to and had forgiven him in a matter of seconds. The trio had become inseparable.

Maybe that's why she had started to date Stefan. She had never known anything else than him. It just seemed natural to be with him. They were still best friends, like they had always been; the only thing that had changed was that now they were kissing. Their other friends had always kind of pushed them together, saying they would be the perfect couple. It had never bothered her, because she knew they were right. She and Stefan really were the perfect little high school couple. Elena had never really stopped to think if that was what she wanted in her future, because she didn't know anything else and, to be honest, she never even had a reason to doubt about them. But then, she had to meet Damon…

The connection between them had been instantaneous. The moment their eyes had locked together, she had felt connected to him in every possible way. The moment their skins had touch, she had felt a fire run through her veins. Sitting abruptly, Elena realized what was bothering her so much about Damon. It hit her like a truck, her eyes opened wide as she stared at her boyfriend.

She had never felt something like that with Stefan. Never.

She gaped at him as she realized that their relationship had never really been more than a friendship. There was never that fire, that passion she had felt for only a few seconds in Damon's arms.

"Shit…"

Stefan glanced at Elena. He raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her. She simply shook her head and put on a fake smile before getting up.

"I think I'm going to sleep a little bit. It's been a tough day and Jenna will be here tomorrow, we will start making the arrangements for the funerals. I don't want to be tired when she comes, we'll have a big job to do. And I have to work tomorrow, it's Friday, Mark will probably need me all night. So yeah… Goodnight and thank you again Stefan."

She leaned in and gave a quick peck to Stefan who looked at her suspiciously. He let it go, knowing she was probably just really stressed because of her parents. He wished her a good night and left, going back to his house. He was hoping to find Damon there so they could catch up but he didn't see his car in the driveway. 'He must be out' thought Stefan before making his way to his bedroom where he changed and got into bed.

Taking the book on his nightstand, he glanced at the picture of him and Elena that was there. He had a strange feeling earlier when she had almost run to her room. What was she really thinking about that made her so prompt to make him leave? He knew her too well, he knew that something was not right with her. And it wasn't just because of the accident that her parents had been in, there was something else that changed her. Not really feeling like reading after all, Stefan dropped the book back where it belonged and shut the lights. He would eventually figure out what it was and then he would fix her. Because that's what he always did, right? Fix her…

Elena tried to keep her calm but as soon as she heard Stefan's car get out of her driveway, she almost ran to her room. Her head was spinning, she couldn't understand what had just happened. This realization was making her doubt everything about her and Stefan. Did she want to continue their relationship? Could she see them together in the future? Could she see them getting married, have kids..? Did she still love him? Had she ever loved him?

All those questions were bouncing in her head as she opened the door to her room. She shrieked when she saw a man sitting in her window seat, hidden in the shadows. She was about to start screaming and running when the man got up and whispered:

"Easy, Lena, it's me!"

Elena stopped her motion when she heard the familiar voice and squinted to try to see through the dark. Finding the light switch on the wall near her, she turned on the lights and stared with wide eyes at the man leaning on the wall.

"Damon? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live? And how did you get in? Did you come in through the window?"

Holding his hands in front of him as if trying to protect himself from her wave of questions, he laughed as he replied:

"Yes, I did come in through the window. As for knowing where you live, you tend to forget that I actually lived here before going to New York, plus it's a small town, I asked the first person I saw. I just wanted to know if you were okay…"

He smiled at her as he said the last part. Elena gapped at him repeatedly and shook her head.

"I… actually yes, I would tend to forget that, I never even knew you lived in Mystic Falls before! As for going to New York… Hell, I didn't even know Stefan had a brother! How come didn't I know about you? We've been friends for most of our lives and he never even slipped a word about you!"

"Stefan's not one to brag." replied Damon, wearing an arrogant smirk. "No, seriously, I never really got along with my father so I was out most of the time. The less I had to spend time with him, the better we both were. It was always Stefan who was the better brother and it just got worst when our mother died. My father was really bad after that, so, the day I turned 18 I just packed my bags and went to New York. I do recall seeing you before, now that you've mentioned being Stefie's best friend. Yeah, you two were always together, with that little blond girl… Caroline, I think? The Sheriff's daughter, right?"

Elena nodded, impressed that he could still remember all those details after so many years…

"Yeah, I remember you now" continued Damon. "Little Elena Gilbert, with your ponytail and your big eyes… Still as pretty today as you were back then. But anyways, I came here because I wanted to know if you were alright, you know, after this afternoon?"

Elena blushed as she heard him call her beautiful. Stefan never complimented her… She shook her head. She had to stop comparing them. They were nothing similar and Stefan was her boyfriend, she wasn't supposed to compare him to anybody, especially not his own brother. Focusing on Damon, she sat on the edge of her bed.

"It's been a rough day" answered Elena, using the same words she had used with Stefan earlier. They didn't feel as fake as they did then. She really could let go with Damon. She had this feeling that he would never judge her or anything, that he would only just listen to what she had to say. And damn her if that didn't feel good.

"I had to go to the hospital and be talked to by what felt like a hundred doctors. They didn't really seem to care that I just lost both my parents and that all I wanted was to take my little brother in my arms and cry with him. They were talking to us like we were kids, like you talk to a five years old, you know? Then this one doctor, Dr Fell I think, came in and got everybody out. She was really kind with me and Jeremy and she explained to us what had happened. She wasn't like the others, she talked to us, she said the real thing, like she knew that what we really needed was the truth and only the truth. She had a calm and sweet voice, it was very nice to have someone to comfort us. Then the Sheriff knocked on the door and asked to speak to us. She said that our Aunt Jenna, my mother's sister, had already been called and that she would be here tomorrow morning. She's becoming our legal guardian. She didn't even know my mom had put her on her testament. Can you imagine her shock? She learned that her sister and brother-in-law had been killed in a car accident and, in the same phone call, that she was now responsible for two teenagers. She must have panicked. I would have panicked."

Elena turned to face Damon who had come to sit next to her on the bed during her speech. Her face was showing pure fear.

"Sheriff Forbes told me she would be our guardian until I was 18 or ready to take in Jeremy. I can't do that! I, I… I don't know how to do that! I had a goldfish when I was seven and it died within the first month! A goldfish! I couldn't take care of a fucking goldfish, how am I supposed to ever be able to take care of a human? I know it's Jeremy and that he's almost an adult himself and that if I take him in when I'm 18, he'll only be under my responsibility for like two years or so, but still! I don't think I can do it, Damon."  
Elena was panting after her speech, trying to catch her breath. She could feel another panic attack rise slowly in her and it made her freak even more. Damon seemed to feel it to because he grabbed her face with his two hands and locked his eyes with hers. Just like he had done earlier in the street.

"Easy, Lena. Easy. Don't panic. Think about something that makes you happy. What makes you happy, Elena? Unicorns, rainbows, butterflies? My dashing body?"

Elena felt the wave of panic drop slowly. Her breathing evened and she even let out a small laugh at the thought of Damon running in a field, surrounded by butterflies and unicorns with a double rainbow in the background.

"You see? I'm so good at this." smirked Damon. "Not only you could stop the panic from rising too much, but I even made you laugh!"

Damon winked at her and she felt a light blush cover her cheeks again. Damn, she couldn't seem to stop blushing when he was there! Her focus was brought back to him as his face change to serious features. Making sure she was listening to him, he asked her calmly:

"Is it a frequent thing? The panic attacks, I mean."

"No, it's not the first time, but it's not that frequent… It's normal. It was because of the shock." replied Elena as she tried to avoid his stare.

"Yeah, cause two attacks in less than five hours seem pretty normal to me." retorted Damon. "Don't lie to me, Lena, it's not a good way to start a friendship. Are these attacks frequent?"

Elena looked down as she answered his question.

"I've had them since I was four. Nobody knows what started them. Usually them come after a traumatism or something like that, but there never was one with me. I've been having the… attacks almost every day. The time between each attack seem to grow as I'm getting older. But still… It's a terrifying experience each time. Two in the same day… that's bad. It never happened before."

"And there's no way to stop it? There is no pill to control it or something like that?"

"I've tried everything I could. They happen anywhere. They aren't always caused by something. Today, it was the news of my parents' accident that triggered it, but it can be anything, it can be nothing."

"Damn, everybody must know and help you when it happens, at least."  
Again, Elena avoided his eyes. Damon, his hands still on her face, gently forced her head in his direction.

"Elena. Tell me I'm not the only one who knows about your panic attacks!"

"Of course not!" reacted Elena, scandalized about his insinuations. "My whole family knows."

"Yeah, of course, they live with you, they have to put up with you every time it happens. Anyone else, outside your family?"

"Caroline knows. And my boss, Mark. I had to explain it to him the day I dropped down on the floor while going to get a customer's order. I was lucky I was still in the kitchen or else the whole town would have known. He promised to keep it a secret as long as it didn't interfere with my job. He's very compliant. If I don't feel good, he won't let me work. But then, I understand him. He doesn't want me to cause a scene at the Grill."

Damon shook his head, his hands dropping from her face to her knees. Elena felt a delicious heat come through her jeans where his hands touched her. Was he radiating or was she the one to produce so much heat? She was sure that her cheek would be flushed in a few seconds. He did have the ability to make her laugh, but he certainly had the one to make her feel uncomfortable too.

"Elena, did you even listen to what I was saying?"

Damon waved one of his hands in front of her eyes, making her blink and focus on him.

"Mmm?"

"Dammit, Lena." groaned the raven haired man. "I was saying, why didn't you tell my brother? He's your boyfriend, so why doesn't he know? You never had an attack while he was with you?"

"Like I told you, the attacks are less frequent now. I don't know how it's even possible, but I never actually had an attack while he was there. And I didn't tell him because I don't want him to think I'm weak. And you know Stefan, if he knew he would always try to stay with me every second of my life, just to make sure I don't have an attack. That would be a pain in the ass. Not a girl wants her boyfriend to be a pain in her ass, you know?"

Elena lifted her head shyly, but instead of finding the angry look she was expecting on Damon's face, she saw that he was barely containing his laughter. She tilted her head to the side and frowned, silently asking what was so funny. He burst out and laughed loudly, throwing his head back.

"Shhhh! Jeremy is downstairs! He could hear you!"

Damon continued to laugh, lowering his voice. He let out a soft chuckle that made Elena's heart melt a little more and wiped a small tear in the corner of his eye.

"I just imagined Stefan following you everywhere, and then I could just see you yell at him and then I imagined Stefan with his head down, like a puppy being scolded and the picture was just too much!"

Elena could see the scene forming in her mind as he described it and giggled. Yeah, Stefan did look like a little puppy when he did things wrong! She had never realized, but now she could picture past scenes where he had worn the same face and she started laughing too. Damon's laughter joined hers and they laughed for a few minutes until her belly started to hurt. She wiped her tears and locked eyes with Damon.

Suddenly, everything seemed to go from happy to serious. Her laughter grew down and more tears started to spill out of her eyes. Soon, her chuckles were replaced by soft sobs and she hid her face in her hands. The reality of her situation had seemed to hit her right there, right then. Her parents were dead. She was an orphan.

Tears were now flooding on her face and her shoulders were shaking from her sobbing. Damon stared at her a few seconds before he reacted, surprised by the turn of events. Once he was past the shock, he got closer to her and took her in his arms. They stood there for long minutes until Elena's sobs faded slowly.

She lifted her head from Damon's chest and he gently wiped away a few tears on her cheek. Looking into each other's eyes, they took a deep breath at the same time and they both shivered as this strange feeling of connection filled them again. They stared at each other for what felt like hours, the only movement being the caress of Damon's thumb on her cheek. Finally, the charm broke and Elena released a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. Leaning into his hand, she closed her eyes as she yawned softly.

Damon smiled and got up, eliciting a groan of protest from Elena. His smile only grew wider as he went to the side of her bed. Under her questioning look, he pulled down the covers before coming back towards her. Without a warning, he picked her up bridal style and spun around. Elena let out a small cry of surprise as she gripped Damon's neck to secure herself in his arms. He walked her to her bed and placed her on it with deliberate slow movements, his eyes never leaving hers. Copying his slow motions, Elena unhooked her arms from around his neck and let herself fall gently on her awaiting pillow. Damon pulled the covers over her body and tucked her in. Elena's eyes grew wider and she let out a small gasp as she saw the look on his face. All she could see was tenderness. She had never seen such a beautiful man and all these emotions, this weakness he was showing her, whether he wanted her to see it or not, that was making him even more beautiful. He leaned down and Elena thought that he was going to kiss her, right there, right then. But he simply brushed his soft lips against her forehead and looked one last time into her doe eyes before stepping back. Her eyelids started to feel really heavy and she knew she would sleep in a few minutes. Her eyes were closing but she fought to keep them open so she would see him leave. As he made his way to the window, he turned around and whispered:

"Goodnight, Elena."

Elena blinked sleepily and when she opened her eyes again, her room was empty. He was gone. She was alone. And she already missed him. Her eyes closed for good and she started to dream.

_She is in the forest. It's very dark outside and the moon is hidden behind the clouds. She knows she is lost. She is wearing a cape and the hood is covering her head. All around her, the forest seems infinite and so dark. She is so scared. Branches crack everywhere, she can hear someone or something approaching. A crack echoes to her right. Very close to her. Swallowing hard, she slowly turns and stares in horror at the yellow eyes she can see in the shadows. They are locked on her. The eyes blink and move. She can't see them anymore. Holding a breath, she steps back. She can hear groans coming from the forest around her. The eyes appear again and they seem to be moving. Emerging from the shadows, an oversized wolf marches towards her. He's licking his lips. _

_Suddenly, she hears a thud behind her and recognizes the sound of a galloping horse. Effectively, a dark horse is running in her direction, his cavalier standing in his stirrups. The clouds dissipate at the same moment and the full moon appears behind the man and his horse. As they come closer to her, the man yells at the wolf. The animal groans and shows its teeth but eventually backs down and retreats in the shadows. The cavalier is now close to her and she can see his raven hair but mostly his eyes. Blue as the ocean, they seem to be searching her soul. The dark horse snorts and the man jumps easily to the ground. He is smirking as he approaches her._

_She is scared. He saved her from the wolf, but who is going to save her from him? He's not a knight running through the forest to save innocent girls like her, he's not riding a white horse. She shivers as he slides a hand in her hood and pushes it down. His smirk grows into a full smile as he says:_

_"It's not safe being so late out here, miss."_

_She understands she has nothing to be scared of. She doesn't know why but she feels like she can trust the man with her life. _

_"Neither should you, sir, but then, you wouldn't have saved me."_

_"I wouldn't have had to save you if you wouldn't have been here."_

_"But, then, we wouldn't have met each other, sir, and that would have been terrible."_

_He copies her smile and gets back on his horse. He comes close to her and holds out his hand to her. _

_"Wanna come for a ride?"_

_"Absolutly."_

_She grabs his hand and he easily pulls her up to the saddle. He places her behind him and smirks again._

_"I would suggest that you hold tight. Things are about to get rough."_

_Her arms hooked around his waist, he firmly kicks his horse without waiting for her answer._

_"Then show me rough."_

_The voice is just a whisper but it sends shivers through his spine as he feels her mouth brushing his ear. He shakes his head and put his smirk back on. This definitely is a promising night._

Elena woke up. The dream felt so real… She looked outside and saw that the sun was up. Yawning, she turned to her nightstand and looked at the clock. Already 11. She slept so well! She couldn't remember the last time she had slept this late. She really felt rested and ready to face the hard day she was going to have. Getting up, she realized that she had slept in her clothes from the day before and she wondered why she hadn't changed into her pajamas. She made her way to her mirror and suddenly remembered that Damon had tucked her in because she was falling asleep in his arms. Damon… Elena smiled as she wondered when she would be able to see him again. She changed into a new pair of jeans and a loose shirt.

A foreign object caught her eye on the window seat and her smile grew even wider when she saw the delicate daisy on the bench. She sat, took it and inhaled its scent in a deep breath. She saw a note that was under the flower and picked it up as she fixed the daisy in her hair.

_Elena, _

_I wish I could find the right words to comfort you but, having gone through what you are living now, I know that these words simply don't exist. Just smile through the day. It's all you can do. And if you ever feel lost, don't worry. A pure heart always finds its way home._

_D._

Folding the note, Elena put it in her shirt pocket, the one on her chest. Next to her heart. She inhaled deeply and got up. Touching the little paper note through the material of her shirt, Elena walked out of her room, determinate to face whatever shit the universe could throw her way. 'Come on, shoot it' she thought. She was ready.


	4. Chapter 4 : Dealing

**I'M ALIVE! Ok, for real, I have absolutely no excuses for being away for so long (well, I have, I mean it was the end of my semester and I had like a billion term papers to write and exams and everything and after that I was away for the past month with no Internet connection and I just came back... anyways.) but I am not abandoning this story, I promise! I will try to update sooner the next time, since I now have the summer to myself! So, here's chapter 4!**

* * *

Elena was just starting to walk down the stairs when she heard the fire alarm go off. Worried, she ran to the kitchen to see her Aunt Jenna opening a window and wave her hands in the air to make the smoke go outside. Elena chuckled as she saw her desperate moves that were clearly not working. She easily jumped on the counter and removed the battery from the smoke detector. The alarm immediately shut off. She bent down and sat on the counter, observing her Aunt while biting back a laugh. Jenna was showing a proud smile, thinking she was the one who had made it stop. Her hands on her hips, she turned around and gasped in surprise when she saw Elena sitting on the edge of the counter, the smoke detector in her hand.

Elena's smile grew wider as she saw Jenna's face fall. Her aunt had been so sure she was the one that had stopped the alarm! Jenna shook her head and smiled.

"Well, I was gonna ask you if you slept well, but since I guess I was the one to wake you up..."

"It's okay, Jenna, I was already awake. I was actually in the stairs when the alarm went off" stated Elena. "But I'm pretty sure you woke Jer up. He was still sleeping when I got up."

At the same moment, a loud but sleepy voice erupted from the floor above.

"LENA! What the hell was that?!"

"It's Jenna's new wake up technique. What'd you think? Powerful, isn't it?"

Jenna glanced at her feet guiltily and bit her lip. Elena let out a small laugh at her face. Jeremy groaned as he entered the kitchen. Jenna pointed at a pan still fuming in the sink.

"I was actually trying to make you pancakes." she explained. "But you know my cooking skills... Damn, I can't even make pancakes!"

She looked at Elena and Jeremy and smiled sadly.

"How am I supposed to take care of you two when I can't make pancakes or even turn off a stupid smoke detector? I'm not mother material, I just don't have it in me! I have no parental skills at all, I don't know how to-"

"Jenna."

Elena grabbed her aunt's shoulder while Jeremy got close to the two women. He spoke with confidence and said:

"You know, I make pretty good pancakes. Elena just proved that she can turn off the alarm and I feel like she's quite skilled in that department." Jenna laughed a little. "We're gonna get through this, Jenna. We're gonna do this together, cause it's all we have left. Our family. You're not alone. We'll help you, I promise."

The three hugged for long minutes and they only broke apart when the door bell rang. Jenna wiped her teary eyes as Elena made her way to the door. As she opened it, she was hit with a delicious smell. Damon was casually leaning against the frame of the door, holding a paper bag in one of his hands. He grinned and his stare on her made Elena's cheeks burn. Damon's smile widened and he handed her the paper bag.

"Fresh baked cookies." he explained. He sniffed soundly and grimaced. "You'll need them, smells like you burned your breakfast… "

Just as Elena opened her mouth to respond to him, a loud voice cut her.

"Elena, who is-"

Jenna stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the man standing at the door. Grinning from ear to ear, she wiped her hands on the kitchen cloth she was holding and threw it over her shoulder.

"Salvatore? No way!"

Elena was shocked to see her aunt almost run to the door and pull the tall man into a tight hug. Damon laughed genuinely and lifted her from the ground, earning a shriek from Jenna. He put her down and she roughly messed with his hair while he gently punched her shoulder. They turned to Elena, who was staring at them with a confused look on her face. How the hell could the two of them know each other?

"Well, this explains the burn smell…" Damon said with his usual smirk, winking at Elena. Jenna hit him on the arm and he faked being hurt.

"How dare you insult my cooking skills, Salvatore? If I remember clearly, I make the best mac and cheese this town has ever tasted!"

"Yeah, that's cause I'm the only person here who actually got to get out of this town and, believe me, New York has way better food than you do!" Damon replied.

Suddenly, the duo seemed to realize that Elena was still looking at them completely puzzled because Jenna turned to her and said:

"Elena, this is Damon Salvatore. Damon, this is Elena, my niece."

Damon smiled at her and raised his hand to her hair, grazing the daisy she had fixed there earlier making her blush once again. Damn, she could never keep her cool in front of this guy!

"I see you got my present. It looks beautiful on you, Lena."

Now it was Jenna's turn to look completely confused.

"You guys know each other? How?"

"How do _you_ know each other?" asked Elena, still puzzled about that part.

Jenna and Damon exchanged a funny look.

"I used to babysit Damon." trailed off Jenna.

"Babysit?" Elena raised an eyebrow at her aunt. "You're like, five years older than him and you two seem way too friendly for you to be his 'babysitter'"

"Well…" started Jenna, before Damon cut her.

"It started as babysitting. My father thought that at 9 years old, I suddenly needed a sitter again. So he turned to Jenna, whom he knew because he used to work with her mother and she became my babysitter. It didn't take long before we realized that neither of us wanted to do this and we became friends. It took like four years, but my father finally realized that having her as a sitter was getting me more into trouble than not having a sitter at all. So he fired Jenna, but we would still hang out and, by the time I was a teen, she was in her twenties and she would take me out and we would do some stupid stuff together… Until she moved out of town, about a year before I did. So yeah, that's our story…"

Damon and Jenna exchanged another look full of memories of this 'stupid stuff' they used to do. Even if she didn't really want to know, Elena asked:

"Did the two of you ever, you know…" she trailed off.

By the look of disgust on both their faces, she knew she had her answer before they even replied.

"EW, never!"they both yelled and laughed at the same time.

"It wasn't like that between us, Elena." explained Jenna. "Could you imagine sleeping with someone whose diapers you changed?"

"Whoa, there, changing my diapers! I was 9 when you started to babysit me, you never changed my diapers!" Damon said.

"Anyway, you know what I mean. But how do you two know each other, you never actually explained..?"

"We…"started Elena, but she stopped as she realized she didn't know how to explain her connection to Damon to her aunt.

"She's dating my brother, Stefan." explained Damon as he saw that she didn't know what to say. "And I was with her, yesterday, when she found out about Miranda and Grayson. Which is why I'm here. You were there when my mom died and you did so much for me… I knew that you were coming back and I wanted to be there for you. And for Elena."

He turned to her as he said her name, sending shivers down her spine. Damn, what this man could do to her! Jeremy chose this moment to yell from the kitchen:

"Do I smell chocolate chips cookies? Cause if it is, you better bring it here right now, I'm starving!"

Elena laughed and made her way to the kitchen, giving her brother the paper bag with the cookies inside. Damon and Jenna fallowed her while talking in a low voice, reminiscing about old times. It felt normal. The door bell rang again. 'Almost normal.' thought Elena. This was going to be a long day…

* * *

"Today, we are all gathered here to say a final goodbye to Miranda and Grayson Gilbert."

The pastor paused and took a deep breath as he looked at the silent crowd. Elena couldn't believe how many people had showed up. She didn't know her parents were so loved. Or maybe they weren't. Maybe all these people were just here because it was how it was done in small towns. Someone died, everyone would gather to mourn. Then they would forget. It had to be that, right? Because she wasn't stupid, she knew that her dad was a bad person, that he was alcoholic and that her mom wasn't really a better person. She had heard the rumors through all her life and she had always been hurt. And seeing all those persons who just didn't care being here after all they had said and done to hurt her family, it was just something she simply could not take.

"Miranda and Grayson were loved and cherished by this town and losing them is just another terrible tragedy for us." the pastor continued.

Elena snorted in disgust. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. It was _just_ another tragedy. Suddenly, she felt like she was choking. She did not belong here. _That _was not the way to say a final goodbye to her parents. This is not what they would've wanted and she knew it. She was just making this whole thing worst by being here. She brusquely stood up, cutting the pastor in his non sense as she said in a shaking voice:

"Stop."

She shot a glance around her in the church. Everyone was looking at her in surprise. The pastor raised an eyebrow at her and asked:

"Do you have a speech to do, Elena, final words you want to address to your parents?"

Elena took a deep breath and sneered. She walked in the alley of the church and stood in the middle of the room.

"No. But neither do any of you, right?" She pointed at all the people in the church. "Because none of you really cared about my parents! None of you cared about them, or me or Jeremy! You're all just here because it's your _duty_ to support the family, but you'd all rather be home because you all got other things to do! Well, go! No one's keeping any of you here! There's like, five people here that actually care, so you can all go to hell!"

With those words, she turned around and ran out of the church. Jenna and Damon exchanged a worried look before turning to Stefan, who was staring at his shoes. Jeremy hit him on the back of his head. He looked up and only shrugged, not knowing what to do. Jenna shot him a disappointed glance and turned to where Elena had disappeared, ready to run after her. A hand on her forearm stopped her. Damon shook his head.

"Let me talk to her."

Jenna nodded as she let him run after her niece. Next to her, Stefan watched his brother go after his girlfriend with a strange feeling. In the beginning, it had felt like a good idea that they spend time together, but they really seemed to be getting a lot closer than they were supposed to. They would see each other every day and sometimes, Elena came to their house, asking to see Damon and barely giving him a hug before going out with his brother. Stefan felt like he was slowly losing her to Damon, and it scared him. He knew he had to do something to keep her and that he had royally fucked up a few minutes ago when he didn't run after her. Shaking his head, he stood up brutally, thinking that it wasn't too late already to go comfort her. He ran out of the church and stopped, looking everywhere to find her or Damon.

"Elena!"

Damon ran as he called her name.

"ELENA!"

He stopped and bent, resting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"Damon?"

Damon stood straight up and turned to find the source of the voice. Elena was sitting against a tree, hugging herself and crying softly. The dark haired man sighed and walked towards her. Sitting next to the girl, he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest.

"They don't understand, they don't care, Damon!"

"I know, little bird, I know…"

"I hate them."

"I know."

Elena looked straight into Damon's eyes as he gently stroked her cheek, a gesture that had become a habit whenever she was close to him.

"Take me away."

Damon opened his mouth to protest, but Elena cut him by putting a finger to his lips. Smiling against her finger, he stood up and helped her to her feet. Without a word, she followed him and slid her hand in his as they walked to his car. He kissed her on the forehead before opening the passenger door, both completely oblivious of the young man standing a few feet away, staring at them with a pained look on his face. Stefan watched her smile at his brother and laugh with a laughter she never had with him. Nodding his head, he understood at this precise moment that he had lost her. At first, he cursed his brother for stealing his girl, but then he realized something he had known for years but had chosen to ignore.

She was never his.

* * *

**Ok, I know it's not very long, but I wanted to give you something at least. Next chapter is not written yet, but I know where I'm heading and it should, and as I say, it ****_should _****be updated soon. Love y'all, R&R! **


	5. Chapter 5 : Breathing again

It was passed midnight when Elena came back to her house. Trying to open the front door silently, she turned to Damon and put a finger to her lips, indicating that they would have to make the less noise possible. She shot him a questioning look as he dropped to the ground and asked:

"Damon, what are you doing?"

Her friend smirked as he answered:

"Ninja mode!"

Elena stared at him for a few seconds before she started to giggle loudly, soon joined by Damon. She pushed the door open while trying to contain her laughter, the man following her into the house.

"We had fun tonight."

Elena nodded slowly.

"We should do that again."

Elena nodded again and smiled.

Suddenly, the living room's light illuminated the scene, exposing them to an angry Jenna.

"Hey, Jenna." Elena said as she smiled tentatively. Her aunt shook her head slowly, clearly not happy about the situation. Elena opened her mouth to try to explain but she was cut off by Jenna.

"Where the hell were you, Elena Gilbert?!"

Elena was about to tell her but she was cut off again, this time by Damon.

"It's my fault, Jen. When I went to comfort her after the funeral, I thought that taking her away from town for a day would be great for her. I'm sorry that we didn't tell you, I should have called you and let you know where we were heading. I didn't think that you would be mad, but I guess it makes sense. Sorry."

Elena stared at him, shocked. He had covered her, when she was the one that asked to get away!

"You think I'm mad?!" Jenna yelled. "I'm not mad, I'm furious! But mostly, I was worried! Elena, you ran away in the middle of your parents' funeral and then you just disappeared! I was worried as shit until I found out that Damon was missing too! I knew that at least you were in safe hands. Then, I got mad. For you running with him and not telling me."

Elena walked to her aunt and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Jenna. I swear it won't happen again."

"I know, I forgive you."

Jenna hugged her back and glanced at Damon from above her shoulder.

"But you, Salvatore, don't think for a second that I'm done with you! Corrupting my sweet little niece?"

Damon raised his hands in front of him, his eyes going wide as he tried to escape from the situation he was into.

"First of all, you should know that she isn't that sweet. Second, just like I said, she's all but sweet! She doesn't need corruption, Jenna, she's a wildcat! You should've seen her, when she-"

"Damon!"

Elena jumped and clasped both hands on Damon's mouth. Her scared eyes met Damon's amused glance.

"What happened to 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'? Because if you tell that to Jenna, I can tell what happened after that, you know, with the blonde..."

Now it was his turn to cut her off and to look afraid. He raised his hand between the two of them and shivered as she slid her fingers through his.

"What happens in Vegas."

"Stays in Vegas."

Staring in each other's eyes, their hands still clasped tight, they felt that strange feeling again, coursing through their skins. The kind of feeling that made your heart race and your mouth dry up. Elena let Damon's hand go brutally, like it had burned her. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath and tried to ignore the tingling in her belly as she told Damon he should go.

"Yeah, you're probably right, it's late and all… so. Yeah, I'm… Gonna go. See you, Lena."

Damon mumbled a goodnight to Jenna before awkwardly going for the door, turning twice to look back at Elena, clearly as confused as she was. Once he was outside, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let the cold air of the night shake him. He needed to lay down a little. He couldn't continue to Elena if he felt that way every time. He just couldn't help but think that she was Stefan's girl, not his, despite the deep connection they shared. That was all they could ever share. A connection, a friendship. They couldn't share anything else. They could just not share a bed, share passion or love… Love? 'Get a grip, Salvatore!' Damon thought to himself. What was this girl doing to him? Straightening the collar of his leather jacket, he made his way to his car and went home.

As soon as Damon closed the door, Jenna glanced at Elena, raising a brow to her.

"What?"

"Nothing. You guys… get along very well."

Elena shot her a look. What was that even supposed to mean?

"Yeah, so what?"

Jenna sighed.

"It's just… Be careful, Elena. I know he's all hot and nice, but he was quite a ladies' man back then. And I know he still is. I just don't want you to think he's choosing you or something because he will break your heart and-"

"Jenna." Elena interrupted her aunt. "I'm not in love with Damon. We just…" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, looking for her words. How could she explain to someone something she didn't even understand herself? "Damon and I… we have something. An understanding. I… I couldn't explain why or how this happens, but we share a connection. Or something like that. We're just friends, Jenna. Just friends."

Jenna smiled softly at her niece.

"Just promise you'll be careful."

Elena returned her smile and said:

"He'll never break my heart, I won't ever let him."

Both young women grinned at each other. After small talk about what was to finalize after her parents' funerals, Elena told her aunt goodnight and slowly made her way upstairs to her bedroom. Yawning, she turned on the light and barely contained a scream when she saw Stefan sitting on her bed.

"What are you doing here? And how did you get there?" Elena whispered-yelled at her boyfriend while grasping her chest, trying to calm her racing heart.

"I climbed through the window. I needed to see you." Stefan answered.

Elena let out an angry sigh and closed her door, making sure Jenna hadn't heard her scream.

"Gosh, what it is with you Salvatores not using the freaking front door?!"

Stefan let out a small laugh at her pissed attitude but froze as he heard her words. Elena realized a little too late she had talked too much. She bit her bottom lip and shot Stefan a sorry look.

"My brother came here? He came to see you at night? Please tell me you're kidding!" almost yelled her boyfriend as he searched her face for an answer. The guilt in her eyes was enough for him and he got up and started pacing furiously. "See, this is why I'm here. This is what I wanted to talk to you about. Elena, since my brother has come back to town, you've been with him every day. I don't see you anymore, Elena! You come to the boarding house, you pass by me, you barely even acknowledge my presence and go straight to Damon's room! You spend almost every waking moment with him. It's like… It's like you're his girlfriend, not mine! I can't stand this anymore, Elena. It's too much. You slipped away and I couldn't keep you. I'm not mad at you, or at Damon, it's just… You're not mine for the keeping. You don't want to be mine. And I can't fight that. So… He can have you if he wants, or whatever. I don't really care anymore, just don't let us go. I want to stay friends with you, I think it's what we should have stayed like. So, yeah… Friends?"

Elena stared open-mouthed at Stefan. It seemed to her that it was the longest speech he had ever given. And she was shocked to see him so calm, after the way it had begun, she expected a full blow of words and cries, but he was simply defeated. Smiling sadly, she walked to him and hugged him tight.

"I'm not in love with your brother, Stefan. We just connect in some ways you and I never did. It's not you, it's not me, I think it's just us, that were never really made for each other… But I do want to be your friend."

Elena sniffled and looked up at her now ex boyfriend.

"Would you stay the night, like we used to do when we were 6?"

Stefan smiled softly and brushed her hair from her face.

"Sure."

They went to bed and he held her tight to his chest while she cried.

"So, I guess this is the end then?" Elena asked as she drifted to sleep.

The last thing she heard was a low whisper in her ear.

"No, it's only the beginning."

* * *

The next morning, when Elena entered the kitchen to get her daily coffee, she was welcomed by a fuming cup. Raising her brow at Jeremy, she sat at the table and took a sip of her coffee. Her brother had made a few cups of it and was currently forcing a toast into his mouth, not even taking the time to fully enjoy the taste of it.

"Morning!" he sang with his mouth still full of toast. "I made you some toasts, and coffee and- whoa. You look like shit, sis."

Elena sighed and mumbled in her cup.

"I broke up with Stefan last night."

Jeremy stopped his frenzy motions and turned to face his sister, staring at her with his mouth opened.

"Close your mouth, Jer, your breakfast is escaping" Elena said, holding back a smile.

Jeremy did as he was told but continued to stare at her.

"What do you mean, you broke up with Stefan?"

"Exactly what I said" Elena rolled her eyes. "It was… a decision that we took together. We just realized that we were better friends than lovers."

"Whoa." Was all her brother could say. He never thought these two were ever going to grow apart.

"Anyway, I'm ok with it." Sincerely smiled Elena. "But, enough about me! Now, would you tell me what's got you in such hurry this morning? I usually have to push you out of your bed to get you up! And now you're up before me and almost already gone for school? What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

Elena shot him a disbelieving look as Jeremy tried to avoid looking into her eyes. He sighed and decided to tell her. She would not let him get away with it and he just knew it too well.

"There's… someone I'm meeting up at school."

"I knew it" yelled Elena, raising her fist in victory. Her eyes were sparkling. "Who is it?"

Jeremy shook his head. He wasn't planning on giving that information away just yet.

"Come on, Jer! Tell me! TELL ME!"

Seeing as he was not, Elena got up and slammed her hands on the table.

"Tell. Me. Right now."

Jeremy shook his head again, smirking as he saw his sister fuming. His smile quickly died as she let out a sound that looked like a lion roar and started to run in his direction. Screaming like a little girl, he ran away while she pursued him, both of them laughing at the top of their lungs. They were so caught up in the chase that they didn't see Jenna, leant against the stairs, watching them with a slight smile. It felt nice to hear them laugh like that.

Elena thought it felt nice too. Since her parents' death, she didn't laugh much, except when she was with Damon. Damon… She wondered if Stefan had told him about the break up. She'd text him later and maybe she would go by the boarding house after school to see if he wanted to hang out. She was brought back to reality by two fingers snapping in front of her face. Jeremy was staring at her in a funny way.

"Now what's got you in this good mood?"

"Nothing, just happy to know I can still kick your ass!" Elena said as she gathered her things for school.

Jeremy stuck his tongue out to her. He knew she was lying, but he also knew better than to push it.

"Anyway" winked his sister. "You want a lift to school? Don't want to make that mystery girl wait for too long…"

"Then why are we still here?"

Elena laughed.

* * *

"You did WHAT?!" Caroline's piercing voice echoed in the small bathroom they were in.

It didn't even take the blonde five minutes to notice something was up and she had taken her to the bathroom to question her about what was going on. And she clearly wasn't expecting that.

"I broke up with Stefan." said again Elena as she sighed.

"But why in hell would you do that?! I thought everything was fine between the two of you, that you guys were really great!"

"So did I, Care, but then my parents died and he just wasn't there when I needed him the most and then Damon came to town and-"

"Oh, now I get it." said Caroline.

"What? No, no! I didn't break up with Stefan because of Damon!" Elena looked horrified at what her best was implying. "Well, yes, but no!"

Caroline looked confused at her words and Elena sighed. How could she explain?

"Damon has something to do with my decision, but not in the way you think. As you know, I have spent a lot of time with him since he came back. He showed me things I had never seen, made me feel ways I had never felt before and it was fantastic, Care. He made me realize what I really wanted in my life and it wasn't Stefan. Not anymore. And then, I looked back at my relationship with him and I realized that I knew that from the beginning, but I had just ignored it all along, because we were great together. But that's all we were. Great. Now, I want better, I want more than great. I want awesome, extraordinary. I want magic and epic. Is that too much to ask?"

Caroline smiled at her and hugged her.

"Every girl's dream isn't too much to ask" she whispered in her ear. "You just have to be patient and, someday, you'll get your very own fairytale."

Elena smiled.

"When did you get so wise, Caroline Forbes?"

Both girls laughed and got out, linking their arms together. Yeah, Caroline really was the best friend she could have ever asked for. And, in the end, isn't it all that mattered?

**A/N : this chapter isn't very long, but I wanted to give you guys something since it's been a while since I uploaded anything. I have two more chapters written, they aren't typed yet but it should help me update sooner. thanks for every read/fave/fallow/review, they really make me grin like a little child on Christmas morning. :) love you all!**


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